I hate that its 12:30am and I am awake and have bee since about 11pm. At 7 pm my eyes hurt so bad I couldn't keep them open any longer so I took my meds and went to bed. Got several good hours of sleep but, can't seem to get back. And, for my particular set of super-powers, that is not good. Very very not good.
In the middle of reading 4 books right now and also doing 2 different crochet projects. You'd think I wouldn't mind quiet idle time. Books I'm reading on my own are A Serpent's Tooth by Craig Johnson (Walt Longmire series), and A Big Little Life by Dean Koontz. I am listening to Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. Tim and I are reading together Pines by Blake Crouch. I have a BUNCH more at bat so I read a bit every day and really enjoy it but, I want to be asleep and I'm frustrated.
My life involves MORE than its fair share of managing frustration. I am better at it than I used to be. But it sneaks up on you out of nowhere. I know that is true of everyone, of every life. That's why people lash out at each other, road rage, meltdowns, etc. I, however, have an extremely particular set of super-powers, and once they, or even one of them is triggered, the whole world can change. My view of it, my identity in it. It's danger to me, it's fault for my condition. And, most importantly, my brain's ability to process and communicate information. Real cognitive delay. Real physical debilitation. Then I have to manage all these darn feelings that follow, like resentment, jealousy, fear, rage. And frankly, you'd think after managing all that, I'd be tired enough to sleep through a night. But alas, it is not to be this night.
Think I will read what Walt Longmire and Henry Standing Bear are up to now. It is fun to read dialogue by Henry Standing Bear because he does not use contractions in his sentences. :)
Happy nights!
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