Last week was horrible. I felt like I was going to die. Actually die. I couldn't even sit and work. I could barely bather and feed myself. One night I slept 14 hours, the next 12 hours. The bad severe pain flare lasted 5 solid days with no relief but then I could finally walk again. How funny it is to be grateful to be able to walk with a cane. I had a nightmare that I could never get out of my wheelchair again.
Sometime I have a hard time even watching TV because theres all these commercials for vacations and stuff and it just feels like a personal jab "you can't do this". It makes me sad. Not angry. Not jealous. Sad. And I feel boring. I'm not even interesting to myself, how can I possibly be interesting to Tim? I feel depressed. I feel disappointed.
