Salt

I love it when there is a simple answer to a ginormous problem.  It feels miraculous.  Maybe as close to a miracle as I will experience in my life.  (Although I will admit that during my 14 month remission of symptoms, I felt overjoyed most of the time.)  Before I began taking one of the drugs prescribed to me in 2005 to see if it would help, I think I had maybe 4 migraines in my life.  I remember one very clearly.  It came on because of hunger.  I wasn't seeing a neurologist then and was otherwise healthy, so because it wasn't a ginormous problem, I didn't feel any real suffering from it.  Well, after the drug Neurontin, gabapentin is the generic equivalent, it is the second most debilitating of all my symptoms.  I was only on it for a one month trial.  During that one month, I had a migraine almost every day.  It was September and of the 30 days, at least 24 of them were spent in splitting pain so unbearable as to put me in bed, all day, each time.  I called the doctor twice during the month saying, this side effect is too much, and like all the other months, he asked me to please stay with it for at least one month.  He said that my body might still adjust, adapt to the medicine.  Hang in there, he said.  He was one of the more compassionate doctors I had.  He was working with me in trying to find a medicine, an anti-seizure medicine, that would calm my nerves down.  So, we tried several.  I would titrate up, stay on it for a month if I could, and then titrate back off.  I think I did that for eight months or so.  This was one of those experiments.  And it changed my life.  I think it changed the face of the condition I live in, as well.  Now, this is just me speaking but, I think it has rewired the trigger for migraines to be so low and easily sprung, that I get them so often and so severely that they are one of the worst culprits of my fibro.  It's interesting because I know others who have fibro and don't suffer migraines.  Also, I know some folks who swear by their Neurontin.  It's crazy how we are each a feat of miraculous, supreme, exquisite human engineering.  So, it has been one constant battle to stay on top of my headaches.  In fact, I find them more debilitating than the physical pain.  I am on two preventative medicines, and have one rescue med that works most of the time.  But, some don't get caught and I still am left with an axe in my head and, well, etc.....

I stumbled upon something online which has already helped 3 times in 2 days.  Salt.  Specifically, pink Himalayan sea salt.  That kind of sea salt has a very high concentration of some certain minerals not found anywhere else and, they cure a migraine headache.  To think that something as simple as a teaspoon of salt in water with lemon can be my medicine, it is a miraculous feat.  It makes full sense to me, because every time I feel one coming on, I crave salty Tostitos.  I must need it.  My lil' inside Marie knows it. A remedy exists that is not put out by a pharmeceutical laboratory, does not have any side effects, is not expensive, feels wholesome, on which I can now count.  So, I will continue to take my prevention meds.  But, when I feel one coming, I will get to my salt and water as fast as I can.  And now, I have a backup med if the salt doesn't work.  I have a plan A AND a plan B.  How sweet is that?  Super delicious yummo sweetness.

I have true gratitude that the internet and all its many "do this, it will cure you" sites guided me to one that WORKS.  Gratitude for a plan B.

True escape for three hours

Maybe I shouldn't call it escape.  Maybe it was more like a vacation.  My life is not a prison to return to, but an interesting and challenging combo of environments and blessings which can, without a break, feel overwhelming at times.  I went to my first ever knitting circle this morning.  These ladies meet once a month about half an hour away from me.  Here is one of the most lovely things about the group.  None of them knew me.  No one asked how I'd been feeling.  No one said, oh it must be the weather.  I used my cane and took things slow when I did need to walk but, there was no questioning whatsoever (it would have been rude, really) about my health.  I got to pretend to be a regular gal.  For 3 whole hours.  There were 13 of us at the end of the time and we all just chatted about books, movies, what projects we're working on, the traffic somewhere, home schooling, food, husbands, etc.  Normal things.  It was not a support group.  It was a group of friends.  They were happy to have me there.  It is the usual thing to leave the morning with more yarn than you arrived with.  Somehow, donations of yarn are made to the lady who runs the group and passed along to whomever, and I brought a huge bag of yarn home with me.  Ladies were throwing finished 9x9 squares across the table to each other for specific blankets.  Holding up the little pink sweaters for admiration.  Taking note of which author one of them said was fabulous and which TV show to look for on Netflix.  Also, I think I was the only one who didn't bring food to share.  There was a plethora of desserts, salads, coffees, fruits to be had.  The word fibromyalgia did not come up.  No one talked about any of their own problems.  Just shared the experience of enjoying the company of those who love to do what they do.

I don't know if I can accurately articulate just how badly I needed a vacation like this one today.  I needed to be around some people who don't know me.  Who take me in for just a bit socially, and who didn't delve deep enough that any bit of the conversation had to do with me or my health.  They asked me to return just based on what small parts of me I showed them.  I got to feel like a regular woman.  I have forgotten what that feels like.  Now that I'm home, I don't feel that way anymore as I cannot even walk from the car through the garage to the door without help.  Not regular help from my cane, either.  I had my cane and it was not anywhere near enough.  Tim had to bear most of my weight to get me inside to the wheelchair.  The small miracle of those 3 hours of normalcy is not lost on me.  I hold huge gratitude for it.

Grateful for the courage it took to reach out and put myself in such an unknown situation alone.  Grateful that it was worth the risk.  Grateful to Tim who taxis me around without complaint.  Grateful that I have something on my calendar to look forward to.  Grateful there is something on my calendar at all, besides doctors appointments.