So, lying in bed just now on Christmas night, I have just realized why pain is so scary. It makes me feel unlovable. It makes me feel ugly and lonely. It makes me feel isolated and unworthy of goodness. None of those feelings are valid. None of the statements true. But, even though I was in touch with many people who love me today, I lay there feeling utterly lonesome and forgotten. The pain has a voice of some sort that separates me from the rest of the human race. I am different. I am so different as to be not understood by anyone. It feels like I am a soldier who has fallen behind enemy lines and I'm being fed propaganda by my body about myself. I'm not bad or deserving of this. I begin to think along those lines though, even though I know that is not the truth.
Tonight's symptoms are severe and due to about 3 issues. First, it is snowing out. Clearly I can't control that. Second, my blood is surging with hormones. Also, uncontrollable. And third, and this one makes me mad, the turkey I made for Christmas dinner had MSG in it. I had two servings of it today and haven't had a migraine this severe for over 2 months, the duration of my diet change. I'm bitter that our food supply has these chemicals in it that make me sick. What the heck? I'd be healthier if I lived in some other era before all the available food was tainted with "natural flavors". Of course, since I require air conditioning, I couldn't easily make it in any of those eras and, it is empty wishing anyway. I live now. I just hate that I am so vulnerable to crap. I feel abnormal. Thinking of the millions of people who ate a holiday meal today and did not get sick from the chemicals in it. About 87 flavors of unfair.
Trying to focus on the blessings and the positive, I go down the very long list of what I have to be super grateful for. These symptoms this evening will wane. I am frustrated right now because I can't find relief. I am in too much pain to sleep and there is nothing to take for the migraine. So, I'm just stuck. And it is a lonely feeling. No one else even knows I'm in this much pain. Why should they? It is not theirs. It is mine. So, I will try to bear the burden tonight. I will try to pray some more but, it is very hard to concentrate.
Remind myself to only think the truth. What is true? I am very loved, very valuable, admired, appreciated, and important to a lot of people. I am capable of handling tonight's dose of symptoms. I have done it before. They are temporary. This is not bigger than me. I know from my own historical data that I can successfully endure before I finally fall asleep without losing my mind. Also true is that I'm sensitive to everything. Not vulnerable. And I am not lonely. Also, I think I am not more different than other individuals are from each other. So many people struggle with so much. I have a health struggle. I am not a closet kleptomaniac. I'm not worried about my minimum wage job. I'm not eaten up with jealousy. Not having an affair in order to feel something. Etc. A lot of people struggle. Mine is physical. If that was all, it would be easier. But, pain's voice is toxic. Trying to get me to believe untruths. Wicked, wicked pain.
I hope someday our food supply is free of chemicals that make people sick. I pray for it.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
The Book That Changed The Game
So, sometime last summer, my friend Trish mentioned to me that she saw someone on the Dr. Oz show who talked about food triggers and migraines. I promptly forgot about that comment until about the end of September when I had suffered a migraine almost every day since early August. My medicine, which usually worked, stopped working. I was desperate. So, one morning before the cycle began, I remembered this comment, and googled the item. What I found was a book called Heal Your Headache - The 1 2 3 Program For Taking Charge of Your Pain by David Buchholz, MD. I ordered it and had read it in the next several days. This program is the reason I feel so well these days. I followed the instructions to the letter, and still do. It isn't easy, and especially in the beginning, it is not for wimps or complainers. But, I highly, highly encourage any who are suffering migraines to read it.
Briefly, I had to stop taking all my migraine meds and OTC stuff for headache cold turkey. Also, pretty severe omissions from my diet. All caffeine, including decaf stuff, almost all processed foods, most cheeses, yogurt, nuts, citrus fruit and juice, onions, tomatoes, are about half the list of stuff that are no longer part of my diet. I eat fresh food and I cook about 3 times as much as I used to. But, I feel well more. Quality of life is WAY higher. And, I know right away when I've made a mistake with the diet since I get a migraine about 4-5 hours after eating. Eating out is a challenge. I basically take a thermal pouch filled with food I've prepared almost every time I leave the house just to be sure I'll have safe food in case I'm out longer than I predict.
It is true that I have given up on what I see as tastier food. I have made this sacrifice voluntarily. It is good for my body. When I eat the other stuff, I stay sick (migraine and other symptoms) and I suffer for it. No amount of chocolate is worth the pain it used to bring on for me.
Here is the HUGE benefit. The clean-up of my diet has lowered my physical pain level. There are some days when I'm not in pain much at all. I could not say that before. I used to rely on a cane and used a wheelchair about 25% of the time. Now, I am so much more mobile. I have not sat in my wheelchair since beginning the program. One time, I left the house and forgot my cane. That says volumes about how much better I'm feeling. I have been on it for just over 2 months.
Please read the book. There is so much junk in all that packaged food. Just omitting MSG alone is hard because it's everywhere. I now cook out of only a few cookbooks and one is especially for migraine trigger free cooking. I make my own bread, potato chips, granola bars, instant oatmeal, crackers, and lots of others. I have found it to be fun now that I am past the pain in the butt part of it.
Happy, Happy Days All!
Briefly, I had to stop taking all my migraine meds and OTC stuff for headache cold turkey. Also, pretty severe omissions from my diet. All caffeine, including decaf stuff, almost all processed foods, most cheeses, yogurt, nuts, citrus fruit and juice, onions, tomatoes, are about half the list of stuff that are no longer part of my diet. I eat fresh food and I cook about 3 times as much as I used to. But, I feel well more. Quality of life is WAY higher. And, I know right away when I've made a mistake with the diet since I get a migraine about 4-5 hours after eating. Eating out is a challenge. I basically take a thermal pouch filled with food I've prepared almost every time I leave the house just to be sure I'll have safe food in case I'm out longer than I predict.
It is true that I have given up on what I see as tastier food. I have made this sacrifice voluntarily. It is good for my body. When I eat the other stuff, I stay sick (migraine and other symptoms) and I suffer for it. No amount of chocolate is worth the pain it used to bring on for me.
Here is the HUGE benefit. The clean-up of my diet has lowered my physical pain level. There are some days when I'm not in pain much at all. I could not say that before. I used to rely on a cane and used a wheelchair about 25% of the time. Now, I am so much more mobile. I have not sat in my wheelchair since beginning the program. One time, I left the house and forgot my cane. That says volumes about how much better I'm feeling. I have been on it for just over 2 months.
Please read the book. There is so much junk in all that packaged food. Just omitting MSG alone is hard because it's everywhere. I now cook out of only a few cookbooks and one is especially for migraine trigger free cooking. I make my own bread, potato chips, granola bars, instant oatmeal, crackers, and lots of others. I have found it to be fun now that I am past the pain in the butt part of it.
Happy, Happy Days All!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Fear and Biology
Just got home from walking the dog and have two thoughts that kept me thinking while we walked.
First, fear. Fear is not necessary. I lived with such anxiety for so long. Fear of doing whatever that something unexpected would happen related to my fibro. Fear of pain, which quite frankly is legitimate. Pain is stressful and nobody wants it if it can be avoided. I thought I had a complete faith. I thought I had a full trust in God and knew that He was in charge and would take care of me. Finally, mercifully, I realized that I was fooling myself. If I totally trusted the Lord to watch and protect me, I would not have any fear. And when I realized that, life changed. I became free from the shackles of fear and my outlook improved immensely. I was open to enjoy the world instead of worrying about what might happen to me. Since that time, many events have happened that I had feared in the past, and I handled them like they were birthday cake. I was not fazed at all. I simple trusted that I would come to the other side of whatever it was and that I would be in my Savior's Hands all the time. Pain is uncomfortable but, endurable. He hasn't forgotten me, and that I am in pain. He knows it. He would not, and has not given me an unbearable cross.
Second, biology. As human beings developed, early man did not have the benefit of our communication, medicine, industry, etc. He relied on himself. What he could physically do with his body or what he could figure out how to trap or catch was his food. Here we see an inborn skill. His body, his own flesh helped him to care for itself. Think of animals, fight or flight. There is an instinct deep in us which tells us what needs to be done to care for ourselves. Biology wants to save our lives if they are in danger. Pure survival instinct. It still there in all of us now. But, our heads are so clouded by all the other stimulation and information we try to store that we don't hear the messages or know how to listen to our bodies anymore. I have focused on trying to hear my body speak to me about what it needs at any given time. This has been HUGE in my improvement. At any time, no matter what I may be doing, if I get the "you need to rest now" vibe from my gut, I do it. I don't even think about whether I should anymore. I don't care who thinks I may be rude or selfish. I am selfish. I am my first priority. God has designed my life that way and I make no excuses. I eat when I need to. I never let myself get too hungry or too tired. If I do, there are severe consequences in the form of debilitating pain and migraine and fog. I carefully control stimulation. I wear sunglasses almost constantly sometimes and do not go to warehouse stores or malls. I listen to my body advise me on what it would like to do. Yoga has been key in my learning how to do this. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I only do beginner yoga. I try to do every day but, really I do every other for about 45 min. I don't go to a class but do it here at home alone to an mp3. My body tells me what to do when I listen. It always has. I just didn't always listen. So, I lived in more pain than I needed to live in.
Have Happy, Happy Days!!
First, fear. Fear is not necessary. I lived with such anxiety for so long. Fear of doing whatever that something unexpected would happen related to my fibro. Fear of pain, which quite frankly is legitimate. Pain is stressful and nobody wants it if it can be avoided. I thought I had a complete faith. I thought I had a full trust in God and knew that He was in charge and would take care of me. Finally, mercifully, I realized that I was fooling myself. If I totally trusted the Lord to watch and protect me, I would not have any fear. And when I realized that, life changed. I became free from the shackles of fear and my outlook improved immensely. I was open to enjoy the world instead of worrying about what might happen to me. Since that time, many events have happened that I had feared in the past, and I handled them like they were birthday cake. I was not fazed at all. I simple trusted that I would come to the other side of whatever it was and that I would be in my Savior's Hands all the time. Pain is uncomfortable but, endurable. He hasn't forgotten me, and that I am in pain. He knows it. He would not, and has not given me an unbearable cross.
Second, biology. As human beings developed, early man did not have the benefit of our communication, medicine, industry, etc. He relied on himself. What he could physically do with his body or what he could figure out how to trap or catch was his food. Here we see an inborn skill. His body, his own flesh helped him to care for itself. Think of animals, fight or flight. There is an instinct deep in us which tells us what needs to be done to care for ourselves. Biology wants to save our lives if they are in danger. Pure survival instinct. It still there in all of us now. But, our heads are so clouded by all the other stimulation and information we try to store that we don't hear the messages or know how to listen to our bodies anymore. I have focused on trying to hear my body speak to me about what it needs at any given time. This has been HUGE in my improvement. At any time, no matter what I may be doing, if I get the "you need to rest now" vibe from my gut, I do it. I don't even think about whether I should anymore. I don't care who thinks I may be rude or selfish. I am selfish. I am my first priority. God has designed my life that way and I make no excuses. I eat when I need to. I never let myself get too hungry or too tired. If I do, there are severe consequences in the form of debilitating pain and migraine and fog. I carefully control stimulation. I wear sunglasses almost constantly sometimes and do not go to warehouse stores or malls. I listen to my body advise me on what it would like to do. Yoga has been key in my learning how to do this. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I only do beginner yoga. I try to do every day but, really I do every other for about 45 min. I don't go to a class but do it here at home alone to an mp3. My body tells me what to do when I listen. It always has. I just didn't always listen. So, I lived in more pain than I needed to live in.
Have Happy, Happy Days!!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Recipe for Inner Beauty Sleep
Last night as I was falling asleep, I became aware once again of the unusual arrangement I require to do that. First, an understanding spouse. He is truly my friend. He gets it. If I don't get 9-10 hours of good, uninterrupted rest, I suffer. Second, I have a bed in a bedroom in a different part of the house. My room. Painted my colors, cheerfully. Nothing else goes on in my room but sleeping. No TV, no snacking. Reading, crochet, or tai chi/yoga sometimes to help me relax before sleeping but nothing with any stimulation involved. Other items I require are a white noise machine, turned up almost full volume. A sleeping mask. I have a good one from Dream Essentials. Five pillows. Two of them are high quality memory foam. And sometimes earplugs on top of the noise machine, if you can believe it. It seems like God programmed me so that I won't be in danger of sleeping through a nighttime emergency. The least little sound wakes me. I wake even to the sound of movement in another room. But, I do get all the sleep I need most nights. The last thing that I began adding recently is about 30 minutes with my Bible right before I fall asleep. I say prayers in bed with Tim before I pad off to my room. But, something about being reminded of how much I am loved by my Creator, it is truly a lovely mindset to fall asleep with. I love the Psalms. I can access my Inner Beauty. I read that life, this very life I have, has been planned for me. The Lord knew me before I was in my mother's womb. He knew what talents I would have, what challenges I would face, and how my heart would love. Such a peaceful thought before sleep. This life, this body I have, is truly just a temporary vessel. I can endure the discomfort of it and be grateful for the opportunity.
Also, sometimes when my headaches have been very severe and sent me to bed, I take cold packs with me. The cold on my head and neck reduces the inflamed blood vessels and helps the blood to circulate more freely. I switched from a bag of frozen corn which gets all melty and mushy to freezer bags of popcorn kernels. The unpopped kernels hold their temperature for a long time and there is no moisture to melt. Works great. Cheap cold pack too.
Have Happy, Happy Days!
EDIT on 6/15/14
New Additional Sleep Solutions:
Valium. I have 5 mg tablets. I used to be able to take 5 mg when nighttime pain was unbearable and those would knock me out. Unfortunately, now I need 10 mg. So, I take two when I think I will have trouble. The problem is that even on nights when pain is not that bad, if I can't sleep and it's midnight, then I take 10mg just because I'm desperate to go to sleep. I suppose that's what they are for, whether its pain or just sleeplessness. Anyway, it helps. I just hope I don't overuse them and then need to go up to 15mg..... what will be will be.
A Magic Blanket This is possibly the best calming solution I have ever come across in my search to soothe my frazzled nerve endings. It is a blanket weighted with those thing they used to fill beanie babies with. And the blanket is built like a grid so the beads are evenly distributed. You can get cotton, flannel, fleece, etc. Mine is chenille. Lavender color. Machine washable. Mine is air dry but some are machine dry. You choose based on your body weight and what size you'd like. They custom make it for you so you can have just a lap blanket or a queen size. They will make whatever you want. It is a very small business with great customer service. The blanket is expensive. Mine was $180. But, in my 9 yrs of searching for relief, this was by MILES the best money I've ever spent and I would spend it again in a nanosecond. They also work good for folks with autism issues, especially children, and folks with PTSD, like veterans. There is nothing else in the world like the relief I feel when the weight of that blanket hits my body.
ADDITIONAL EDIT on 9/1/2014
Even more sleep solutions:
Time-Release melatonin. I had to get it on Amazon. (The stores only carry the standard, non time-released kind, which doesn't work for me.) My sweet friend Tara told me about it. It comes in 10 mg tablets. If I take one, I am guaranteed full sleep until about 2-3 am. After that, I wake up about every hour but, only long enough to look at the clock. Then I'm right back asleep again. If I take two, I sleep hard for almost 12 hours. The trouble with this is that I usually can't take a nap during the day. This is bad only because I start to feel like crap and have a migraine a couple hours before bedtime. My body is designed only to be awake for about 6 hours without resting again. Tara says she sometimes needs 3 tablets. I have tried that and it is way too much for me. I am dizzy, confused, unbalanced most of the next day. Basically drunken with melatonin.
Essential oils:
Lavender oil rubbed on my third eye. (I also got this tip from Tara). I don't know why this works, I'm not even that fond of lavender, it is so strong but, it does. Also, I spray this DIY mist all over my face and my inner arms and the backs of my hands and rub it in good. It feels so refreshing. It's title is Mind-Clearing mist. I think that's what mine needs in order to relax, first it needs to feel cleared out. I love this stuff. Can hardly get enough of it. Sometimes I am impatient and the little sprayer won't spray, so I just unscrew and dab it all over my head and arms like its fine perfume. Also, then some scent stays on my pillow, so its conveniently there for nap time.
Kefir:
I am big into cultured foods now, and I have found that if I drink a cup of kefir before bed, it is quite soothing.
Frogg Towels:
We got these last year when we spent a lot more time outside in the TX heat. This year, they have only been used to go to bed with me during headache times. They stay cold for a LONG time. Highly recommend.
Also, sometimes when my headaches have been very severe and sent me to bed, I take cold packs with me. The cold on my head and neck reduces the inflamed blood vessels and helps the blood to circulate more freely. I switched from a bag of frozen corn which gets all melty and mushy to freezer bags of popcorn kernels. The unpopped kernels hold their temperature for a long time and there is no moisture to melt. Works great. Cheap cold pack too.
Have Happy, Happy Days!
EDIT on 6/15/14
New Additional Sleep Solutions:
Valium. I have 5 mg tablets. I used to be able to take 5 mg when nighttime pain was unbearable and those would knock me out. Unfortunately, now I need 10 mg. So, I take two when I think I will have trouble. The problem is that even on nights when pain is not that bad, if I can't sleep and it's midnight, then I take 10mg just because I'm desperate to go to sleep. I suppose that's what they are for, whether its pain or just sleeplessness. Anyway, it helps. I just hope I don't overuse them and then need to go up to 15mg..... what will be will be.
A Magic Blanket This is possibly the best calming solution I have ever come across in my search to soothe my frazzled nerve endings. It is a blanket weighted with those thing they used to fill beanie babies with. And the blanket is built like a grid so the beads are evenly distributed. You can get cotton, flannel, fleece, etc. Mine is chenille. Lavender color. Machine washable. Mine is air dry but some are machine dry. You choose based on your body weight and what size you'd like. They custom make it for you so you can have just a lap blanket or a queen size. They will make whatever you want. It is a very small business with great customer service. The blanket is expensive. Mine was $180. But, in my 9 yrs of searching for relief, this was by MILES the best money I've ever spent and I would spend it again in a nanosecond. They also work good for folks with autism issues, especially children, and folks with PTSD, like veterans. There is nothing else in the world like the relief I feel when the weight of that blanket hits my body.
ADDITIONAL EDIT on 9/1/2014
Even more sleep solutions:
Time-Release melatonin. I had to get it on Amazon. (The stores only carry the standard, non time-released kind, which doesn't work for me.) My sweet friend Tara told me about it. It comes in 10 mg tablets. If I take one, I am guaranteed full sleep until about 2-3 am. After that, I wake up about every hour but, only long enough to look at the clock. Then I'm right back asleep again. If I take two, I sleep hard for almost 12 hours. The trouble with this is that I usually can't take a nap during the day. This is bad only because I start to feel like crap and have a migraine a couple hours before bedtime. My body is designed only to be awake for about 6 hours without resting again. Tara says she sometimes needs 3 tablets. I have tried that and it is way too much for me. I am dizzy, confused, unbalanced most of the next day. Basically drunken with melatonin.
Essential oils:
Lavender oil rubbed on my third eye. (I also got this tip from Tara). I don't know why this works, I'm not even that fond of lavender, it is so strong but, it does. Also, I spray this DIY mist all over my face and my inner arms and the backs of my hands and rub it in good. It feels so refreshing. It's title is Mind-Clearing mist. I think that's what mine needs in order to relax, first it needs to feel cleared out. I love this stuff. Can hardly get enough of it. Sometimes I am impatient and the little sprayer won't spray, so I just unscrew and dab it all over my head and arms like its fine perfume. Also, then some scent stays on my pillow, so its conveniently there for nap time.
Kefir:
I am big into cultured foods now, and I have found that if I drink a cup of kefir before bed, it is quite soothing.
Frogg Towels:
We got these last year when we spent a lot more time outside in the TX heat. This year, they have only been used to go to bed with me during headache times. They stay cold for a LONG time. Highly recommend.
Friday, December 7, 2012
This Winter, Pay Extra for Good Lotion
When I turn on the heat in the house, I require lotion on my skin. Not just lotion, good lotion. If I don't do it, then when my skin itches, I scratch the area, and it hurts like a fresh bruise. Somehow, I forget that scratching even lightly will have consequences other than relieving the itch. So, invest in something deep penetrating, moisturizing, and fragrance-free. What good is it if the smell of jasmine, or tangerine or whatever sends you into a migraine spiral? Unscented is the new good smell. I actually like Curel Ultra Healing. I am super frugal so it always bugs me a bit to spend more when I can get other stuff cheaper but, lotion is something that you get what you pay for.
Also, my sleep mask is fantastic. If I don't put it on before a nap, I may not fall asleep. And I really need to fall asleep. With the mask on, I guess my brain is fooled into thinking that it should rest. Ahhh... darkness.... Blessed, blessed darkness.
I'm already wearing one set of sunglasses indoors, with my blinds all closed. That's how light sensitive I get. It happens gradually, follows the path of tiredness. I need to get some lunch in me pronto and get to bed. I spent too long writing Christmas cards just now....
Happy, happy days!!!
Also, my sleep mask is fantastic. If I don't put it on before a nap, I may not fall asleep. And I really need to fall asleep. With the mask on, I guess my brain is fooled into thinking that it should rest. Ahhh... darkness.... Blessed, blessed darkness.
I'm already wearing one set of sunglasses indoors, with my blinds all closed. That's how light sensitive I get. It happens gradually, follows the path of tiredness. I need to get some lunch in me pronto and get to bed. I spent too long writing Christmas cards just now....
Happy, happy days!!!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Second Blog - pre-bedtime
In sharing how I cope, I want to write about things I have stumbled upon or learned which will be helpful to someone else. I don't really see the need to write about the stuff that was not helpful or worse, self-destructive. Let's suffice to say that I tried my fair share of those kinds too. I may ramble with anecdotes at some points but, I will strive for brevity since energy and time is so, so precious.
Therapy works. I have a psychologist who shares the faith in God I have and it is very beneficial to my treatment with her. Also, she is not warm and fuzzy. She holds up a metaphorical mirror and forces me to see who I am and how I am behaving. I have friends who would run screaming from her because they need to be soothed in therapy. I don't benefit from that. Sure, it feels good and I have had a soothing therapist before. But, one who challenges me has helped me come farther quicker and reach a true stability that can be trusted. I have grown to a good height with her. She helps me in strengthening my faith and my self-confidence.
It is hard to be a good friend to someone I don't have much in common with anymore. And unfortunatley, upon getting fibro, life changed so dramatically and so rapidly that I wasn't left with many friends. The blessing is this. I turned to my parents, who I loved and who have been my rock during many times of my life. As a result, I befriended them. I developed a friendship with both of them that I'm not sure any of my other siblings have. I don't know if they would say the same, but I only need to evaluate the friendship from my end, since that's the end affecting me. What it is to them is for them to think on. I have learned truly to let go of caring what is going on in anybody else's head.
Food has been such a comfort in my life. I, like most female Americans, have downed half a bag of Dove chocolates or a pint of Ben and Jerry's during times of crisis or depression. My generation learned to sit in front of our TVs with a bag of something crunchy. Decades of how I habitually ate had to change. I am not fat, but I was still hurting myself. Unknowingly. For me, the change had to be made. I was having a migraine headache almost daily at that time for several months in a row. I stumbled upon a book and a theory about food triggers. I embraced it fully. Today is two full months later and I follow the rules very carefully. I have not felt better since before 3/13/05.
So there are my Faith, friends, food blurbs for today. I'm on less medicine than I've ever been on. I have more true friends than I've had before. I'm more vocal on my spirituality than I have ever been. I used to think of my relationship with the Lord as a special private, personal thing. Now, I see that it is also something glorious to share with others. I pray and read my Bible more than I have ever before. I devote time to it. It improves my life to be reminded how much I am cherished.
Happy, happy evenings all.
Therapy works. I have a psychologist who shares the faith in God I have and it is very beneficial to my treatment with her. Also, she is not warm and fuzzy. She holds up a metaphorical mirror and forces me to see who I am and how I am behaving. I have friends who would run screaming from her because they need to be soothed in therapy. I don't benefit from that. Sure, it feels good and I have had a soothing therapist before. But, one who challenges me has helped me come farther quicker and reach a true stability that can be trusted. I have grown to a good height with her. She helps me in strengthening my faith and my self-confidence.
It is hard to be a good friend to someone I don't have much in common with anymore. And unfortunatley, upon getting fibro, life changed so dramatically and so rapidly that I wasn't left with many friends. The blessing is this. I turned to my parents, who I loved and who have been my rock during many times of my life. As a result, I befriended them. I developed a friendship with both of them that I'm not sure any of my other siblings have. I don't know if they would say the same, but I only need to evaluate the friendship from my end, since that's the end affecting me. What it is to them is for them to think on. I have learned truly to let go of caring what is going on in anybody else's head.
Food has been such a comfort in my life. I, like most female Americans, have downed half a bag of Dove chocolates or a pint of Ben and Jerry's during times of crisis or depression. My generation learned to sit in front of our TVs with a bag of something crunchy. Decades of how I habitually ate had to change. I am not fat, but I was still hurting myself. Unknowingly. For me, the change had to be made. I was having a migraine headache almost daily at that time for several months in a row. I stumbled upon a book and a theory about food triggers. I embraced it fully. Today is two full months later and I follow the rules very carefully. I have not felt better since before 3/13/05.
So there are my Faith, friends, food blurbs for today. I'm on less medicine than I've ever been on. I have more true friends than I've had before. I'm more vocal on my spirituality than I have ever been. I used to think of my relationship with the Lord as a special private, personal thing. Now, I see that it is also something glorious to share with others. I pray and read my Bible more than I have ever before. I devote time to it. It improves my life to be reminded how much I am cherished.
Happy, happy evenings all.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The First Blog - Post-Nap
So, not having given this blog thing much thought at all before jumping into it, I will sort of plan as I go. Warnings now about potential disorganization and randomness. Also, anything that doesn't say "Post-Nap" is to be taken with a grain of salt. During times when I live with exceptional pain, sleep is the only actual relief I get. And, if I am too many hours away since my last sleep, my brain becomes addled from it. So be aware that try as I might, pre-nap blogs might not make for easily understood reading.
I decided to call the blog Faith, Friends, Food .... How I Cope with my Fibro. I think these three areas encompass my true coping skills.
My faith is deeper now. I believe that when illness strikes, faith is priceless. It offers wellness again when nothing else here on Earth can. Sure, maybe not wellness in this life in this human form, but wellness someday in His Kingdom.
Friends are interesting. Friends come and go in life, some stay for a bit, some stay for a long time, some are very fleeting, I understand that each is put in my life to teach me something. If I strive to learn whatever lesson the Lord intends, I have benefitted from the friendship and I hope my friend has too. I have learned how to be my own friend, how to befriend candidates who would seem unlikely, and how to lean on friends. I have truly learned the strength of shared bonds. They are stronger when the bonds are unwelcome and the shared experiences are unpleasant.
Food has recently improved my quality of life immensely. My fibro syndrome consisted of 1) physical pain, 2) migraine headaches, 3) fibro fog (kind of a nice way to say I am extremely zoned out), and 4) depression. While my depression is controlled very well by medication and therapy and lifestyle, the other 3 were largely uncontrolled. I did have medicine to take for migraines but, they stopped working. I will write more about this later but, suffice to say, now, 1, 2, AND 3 are improved by one action on my part. Food choices.
Since I was not issued a crystal ball, I cannot know if I will ever be free of fibromyalgia. But, I can enjoy today. I can choose to be happy. I can live with an attitude of gratitude and the wisdom that life can change on a dime. I can be proud of surviving. Every day.
I decided to call the blog Faith, Friends, Food .... How I Cope with my Fibro. I think these three areas encompass my true coping skills.
My faith is deeper now. I believe that when illness strikes, faith is priceless. It offers wellness again when nothing else here on Earth can. Sure, maybe not wellness in this life in this human form, but wellness someday in His Kingdom.
Friends are interesting. Friends come and go in life, some stay for a bit, some stay for a long time, some are very fleeting, I understand that each is put in my life to teach me something. If I strive to learn whatever lesson the Lord intends, I have benefitted from the friendship and I hope my friend has too. I have learned how to be my own friend, how to befriend candidates who would seem unlikely, and how to lean on friends. I have truly learned the strength of shared bonds. They are stronger when the bonds are unwelcome and the shared experiences are unpleasant.
Food has recently improved my quality of life immensely. My fibro syndrome consisted of 1) physical pain, 2) migraine headaches, 3) fibro fog (kind of a nice way to say I am extremely zoned out), and 4) depression. While my depression is controlled very well by medication and therapy and lifestyle, the other 3 were largely uncontrolled. I did have medicine to take for migraines but, they stopped working. I will write more about this later but, suffice to say, now, 1, 2, AND 3 are improved by one action on my part. Food choices.
Since I was not issued a crystal ball, I cannot know if I will ever be free of fibromyalgia. But, I can enjoy today. I can choose to be happy. I can live with an attitude of gratitude and the wisdom that life can change on a dime. I can be proud of surviving. Every day.
The First Blog
I'm not sure what I expect to get or learn from writing some thoughts in a blog but, the Lord has me guided to this point for some reason.
I am at such a good place in my life right now. It feels only right to look back a bit and reflect on the journey that got me here. Specifically the journey that began after March 13, 2005. That is the day I woke up and was in too much pain to walk on my own. I was 36.
Life is sometimes bisected by huge events. Life before you met your husband, and life since then. Life before the birth of your first child, and life since then. Life before the accident. Life since then. For me, a huge event, one I allowed to define me for too long, is that I somehow acquired fibromyalgia. Life before it I remember as painless, sweet, and so, so, long ago. Even the horrors I suffered in my first marriage are somehow not as awful in my memory since those occurred in the pre-fibro time. Life since 3/13/05 has been a rocky road. I actually think of myself as a wholly different person now. There is no part of who I am left untouched by the fact that I live with this challenge.
I think there may be somebody out there who could benefit from what I have learned. Maybe I will learn more by putting things down on monitor. Who knows? Anything is possible.
Now, I must nap. Happy days, all!
I am at such a good place in my life right now. It feels only right to look back a bit and reflect on the journey that got me here. Specifically the journey that began after March 13, 2005. That is the day I woke up and was in too much pain to walk on my own. I was 36.
Life is sometimes bisected by huge events. Life before you met your husband, and life since then. Life before the birth of your first child, and life since then. Life before the accident. Life since then. For me, a huge event, one I allowed to define me for too long, is that I somehow acquired fibromyalgia. Life before it I remember as painless, sweet, and so, so, long ago. Even the horrors I suffered in my first marriage are somehow not as awful in my memory since those occurred in the pre-fibro time. Life since 3/13/05 has been a rocky road. I actually think of myself as a wholly different person now. There is no part of who I am left untouched by the fact that I live with this challenge.
I think there may be somebody out there who could benefit from what I have learned. Maybe I will learn more by putting things down on monitor. Who knows? Anything is possible.
Now, I must nap. Happy days, all!
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