Had my 2nd craniosacral therapy this morning with Joyce. She was so kind. She found a place on my left hip/back that was painful and triggered a specific memory of having been hit by Scott. I cried. She just let me know I was safe and I kept trying to embrace the pain like she said so I could get to the other side of it. The therapy was very dramatic emotionally and physically. She had me hollering out in pain. Twice, my hands both went numb and at the end my feet too. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Stuck inside my body and my subconscious. Even though I have mentally, emotionally, and psychologically moved on and healed, all that trauma - that energy of every hit I endured - stayed stuck in me. I think I adapted to it for many years. And then, either the fall or my subconscious knowing I was really safe, made the pain come to light. Now, we can treat it and I can finally break any and all control he has continued to have over me. I felt embarrassed earlier that we discovered that what has made me sick all along was post traumatic stress but, now as I'm writing, I'm no longer feeling that way. I was afraid for my life every day for many years. There are war veterans who probably suffer similar problems.
I am going back next week to have another appt.
She did today's for half price again. I think she felt a bit sorry for me.
She gave me the name of a good counselor whom I have already called.
I hope this is ti. I hope I can work through it and get my life back. I think I can.
I feel depleted.
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