Short-lived good times

Well, for two whole days I felt what resembled decent, maybe even actually good, for me.  Now, back to reality.  I took the dog for two morning walks which I haven't done since the spring.  During yesterday's walk, My legs got tired and painful and the back leg kept slamming into the front one, buckling the front knee and sending me almost down about five times.  Thanks to my cane, I didn't fall but, that is the only reason.  Good ole' Pokey.    He's there when you need him.

I did some cooking yesterday and was happy with the results.  Both recipes were new.  But, toward the end of the morning, started feeling very ill.  Like, I've got the flu, ill.  So I ate some of my new food for lunch, took Valium and went to bed.  After 2 hours, I got up feeling refreshed for about 30 seconds, and then ill all over again.  Nauseated, dizzy, full hard body ache, headache, super fatigue, all of those things that make you think you've gotta be sick.  But, I'm not sick.  It's just my life.  So, I spent the rest of the day on my couch, not even able to crochet.  Just lying so heavily on my side that it felt like I was suddenly about 100 pounds heavier.  I did take my temperature to be sure, but I knew I didn't have any fever.  I was right.  I don't know why these sudden "events" of symptoms still surprise me, but they do.  I did think I was getting sick for a few hours until Tim came home and reminded me that everything I named were stuff I sometimes get during a flare.

The worst part is that I am not asleep.  It is 2:52 am.  I woke at about 1 and took the strongest pain med I have at my disposal, Hydrocodone.  It doesn't knock me out but, does help with extreme pain enough for me to sleep.  Not tonight.  Still awake.  So I've been listening to one of my murder mysteries.  Finally, frustrated so, decided to get up and do something about it.  This is the thing I'm doing.  Writing to y'all.

I'm grateful I don't have insomnia more often.  It is a killer for me.  I know tomorrow will be much worse than today was because of it.  That is not me "trying to predict the future".  That is me knowing from my own historical data that sleepless nights trigger very severe reactions.

Gonna open my huge outline and work on my book for a bit.  I'm so frustrated.  Two good days is way better than none but, come on, two??  Really??