I am home from walking the dog. A good medium sized walk. It's 6:42 am and normally, and frankly ideally, I'm sleeping at this time. But before I complain about having risen too early, let me just say how delighted I am to have been able to walk with him. I have taken small walks with him but, this was 45 minutes. I can't remember when I was last able to do that. Maybe April? Many, many months. So grateful that the summer is behind us for the year. Pain is worse in cold weather, but somehow, and I know this hardly makes sense, I can function better than I can when its hot. The heat deflates me. It unbuttons me and I feel as if I am falling apart. But, the cool and cold weather, I feel buttoned up and more capable. Yes, it is more painful but, I can do some things. I am not trapped in my air-conditioned walls. I have such a lovely home. I never want it to feel like a prison. It isn't one, I just impose that feeling on it sometimes. I crave outdoors. Another loss. Another thing I miss. Just being able to go find a tree to sit under and read at any time. In any temperature.
O is happy for the walk too. It is hard to be unhappy when there's a happy dog shadowing me.
Have happy days,
Marie
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