Fear and Biology

Just got home from walking the dog and have two thoughts that kept me thinking while we walked.

First, fear.  Fear is not necessary.  I lived with such anxiety for so long.  Fear of doing whatever that something unexpected would happen related to my fibro.  Fear of pain, which quite frankly is legitimate.  Pain is stressful and nobody wants it if it can be avoided.  I thought I had a complete faith.  I thought I had a full trust in God and knew that He was in charge and would take care of me.  Finally, mercifully, I realized that I was fooling myself.  If I totally trusted the Lord to watch and protect me, I would not have any fear.  And when I realized that, life changed.  I became free from the shackles of fear and my outlook improved immensely.  I was open to enjoy the world instead of worrying about what might happen to me.  Since that time, many events have happened that I had feared in the past, and I handled them like they were birthday cake.  I was not fazed at all.  I simple trusted that I would come to the other side of whatever it was and that I would be in my Savior's Hands all the time.  Pain is uncomfortable but, endurable.  He hasn't forgotten me, and that I am in pain.  He knows it.  He would not, and has not given me an unbearable cross.

Second, biology.  As human beings developed, early man did not have the benefit of our communication, medicine, industry, etc.  He relied on himself.  What he could physically do with his body or what he could figure out how to trap or catch was his food.  Here we see an inborn skill.  His body, his own flesh helped him to care for itself.  Think of animals, fight or flight.  There is an instinct deep in us which tells us what needs to be done to care for ourselves.  Biology wants to save our lives if they are in danger.  Pure survival instinct.  It still there in all of us now.  But, our heads are so clouded by all the other stimulation and information we try to store that we don't hear the messages or know how to listen to our bodies anymore.  I have focused on trying to hear my body speak to me about what it needs at any given time.  This has been HUGE in my improvement.  At any time, no matter what I may be doing, if I get the "you need to rest now" vibe from my gut, I do it.  I don't even think about whether I should anymore.  I don't care who thinks I may be rude or selfish.  I am selfish. I am my first priority.  God has designed my life that way and I make no excuses.  I eat when I need to.  I never let myself get too hungry or too tired.  If I do, there are severe consequences in the form of debilitating pain and migraine and fog.  I carefully control stimulation.  I wear sunglasses almost constantly sometimes and do not go to warehouse stores or malls.  I listen to my body advise me on what it would like to do.  Yoga has been key in my learning how to do this.  I cannot recommend it highly enough.  I only do beginner yoga.  I try to do every day but, really I do every other for about 45 min.  I don't go to a class but do it here at home alone to an mp3.  My body tells me what to do when I listen.  It always has.  I just didn't always listen.  So, I lived in more pain than I needed to live in. 

Have Happy, Happy Days!!