Morning Bliss and Severity Explained

I stayed in bed this morning for about 3 extra hours because I was so blissfully relaxed that I was afraid to move. I,  I thought that when I started to move things would start to hurt and that was true and did happen just 4 minutes ago when I finally roused myself to get up.  My body had zero pains in it and I just wanted to wallow for a long time in that. Um,  I knew that the dog had gone out this morning at about 5am and I knew that they both had some food and some water, and I knew that I was only going to have moments free of pain today if I soaked them in this morning.  So, I did.  I didn't sleep much of those hours, but I did lay there and contemplate. And, I cant even remember now what I was thinking about because already the pain is so bad that I have forgotten everything that I wanted to write.  But, I did read a article yesterday and it has made things a little more clear for me.  The article um is by a doctor who said and broke down fibromyalgia into 7 different subsets, 7 different degrees of the disease that affect people.  I have always wondered why I have never met another person who needed to use a wheelchair like I do and the reason is clear in this article.  Um, Mine is subset #6 out of 7 so mine is quite severe and um a lot of people still are diagnosed with it even though they, it might be fine for them to drive around and even to still work and to sort of have more normal functioning in their daily life than I do.  And probably also why they are denied for their disability, because this one word is used to describe such a wide range of the disease. Um,  Makes me feel um validated in the fact that I live with something so severe and so difficult and yet I remain able to not be bitter and angry.  I remain faithful and accepting of it.  I still remain fighting obstacles, real obstacles like loneliness and depression and um trying hard to contribute something of myself into this world so that it will matter that I've lived.  But, knowing that um, the Lord has given me this very personal job of taking care of this very personal vessel in its journey across the Earth.  So, it was a very good article for me to read and I intend to share it with as many people (yawn) as I can that I know who might benefit from it.  Um, I do have one friend who I know fits into subset 7.  She has, um well it might not be subset 7 but its at least subset 6 and its very confusing for those of us who are affected very severely to see other people like able to walk more normally and they still are holding down jobs and they still are they're functioning better than we're functioning.  And its very confusing that we can't do it.  So, I'm very glad that this explains it and that it was written by a doctor and that research has shown it all to be true.  (Yawn.)
 I woke up this morning with a view of Evy sitting in the windowsill of the window in my room and I got to take some pictures of her silhouette through the curtain.  They're very pretty.  And now shes just sitting here with me on the floor.  We're both just resting a little more before we get up and face the rest of the day and the rest of the house.
Today my goal is to do a couple of loads of laundry, if that's possible, I don't know whether it will be possible.  I also have 2 tiny flowerpots that I would like to pot plants in. And I have the plants, and  I have the dirt, I just have to find the energy to go out to the patio and do it.  So those are my 2 hopes and dreams for this day, that maybe I get a couple of those things done.  I've said my morning prayer to God thanking Him for my so long list of blessings, and I'm glad that I had the good common sense to cancel today's aqua fit class because I would've had to wait there after the class for more than an hour and a half for my ride home and that's just not something that is um doable right now at that location.  There's no good place for me to wait for that long, and its just not within my comfort to do that.  So, I hope I can find some way to translate this into text so maybe I can do my blogging from speaking because it um I, I was able to record things that I was thinking about immediately rather than having to make my way to my computer yawn because as soon as I get out of this bed, what has already escalated in the last 6 minutes will dial all the way up.  I know it, I can feel it.  I just tried to put a little bit of my body weight on one elbow and searing, searing pain shot all the way through from my fingertips up into my back, so I know its waiting for me.  And I  I have the courage to face it now, and I hope that anyone reading just has a truly happy day and enjoys it thoroughly.  Realize that life is absolutely a gift and that if you're too busy to appreciate it, you're too busy.  You need to make a change.  Be less busy and appreciate your life.

PS  I typed this in from my morning recording exactly as I spoke it.  That's why the ums and yawns.

PSS  The article is titled :

The Fibromyalgia Spectrum - Part of the Big Picture in Understanding Fibromyalgia and if you google it, it comes up as result #2.