Bonafide cheering section

I want to first say thank you to my bonafide cheering section in the world.  I forget that you're there and then when you remind me of your presence, it feels like a gift.  I'm so grateful for you few.  

The Christmas tree is up and lit.  Nothing else decorates it yet but, progress has been made.  I did neither of those tasks, btw.  I knocked a couple of things off my To Do list today.  Maybe half of them.  That's solid achievement.  Finding my way back toward proper perspective to take a win anywhere I can get one.

Only slept a few hours last night.  Haven't suffered physically today as I'd have predicted as the result, except for the migraine, of course.    Here's this month's tally.  I have two pills left.  "They"  you know, BIG PHARMA and all their importance and rules, will let me have another 9 pills on Friday.  I think I will make it this month.  I think I actually will make it.  I have to go out tomorrow, but just to a doc appointment and home.  Cutting out the swimming.  Recognizing it as too much for me in spite of how much I LOVE it.  And on Friday, I have a new doc appointment which is predicted to last at least 3 hours, so, saving a pill for that bundle of loveliness.   Not gonna lie, nervous about that one.  Timothy will be with.   Tried twice to nap today, failed twice.  But, did get solid rest, which, for today at least, counts.

This year's tree is bittersweet because our kitty LOVED to lay under the Christmas tree.  Every year she'd snuggle down.  It's only our 2nd Christmas together without her.  I just searched for a pic of her under a tree, but couldn't find one, so, here's a lovely one. We don't generally photograph our Christmas trees.  In fact, I couldn't find any but, I didn't search all that hard, either.

Anyone who struggles with depression, I highly recommend Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson.  I'm listening to it now for probably the third time.   Maybe the fourth.

Let's see, what other minutiae to report?  Got some nice Lupine Martingale collars for the dogs and the walking/tugging situation.  Today was our first time out with them, and all 3 of us returned home in the original 3 pieces in which we left.  Goes without saying that we walked back and forth in front of our home and two homes up and down in each direction, for about 20 minutes.  Again, accomplishment.  Baby steps, y'all.

It was pointed out to me by my sweet spouse that one of my passwords was ultra-depressing, and I didn't realize that.  So, yesterday, I went on a password changing spree.  Feels good to shed that negative.  No, I will never forget, but that doesn't mean I have to type it in.  Now the passwords are positive and factual.  And no, they aren't IMISSEVY2.  If they were, I'd use IMISSEVYAZILLION2.

I felt weary last week, getting through a family holiday as we do with utter absence of family with us.  And the fact that the day after was Monica's birthday, pulled at me.  A couple days, I stayed in bed a lot of the daylight hours.  As of now, Monday evening of the new week, in the twinkly lights, color twinklies, not white ones, I feel less weary.  I am not myself.  But, I am also not somebody I don't wanna be, if that makes sense.  This is one of those times in my life I am making a conscious effort to be thankful for because, it is in these times that I 1)am reminded of my cheering section, 2)pray more and stop and be still to listen for answers, 3)compare how good things normally are for me, 4)hopefully learn and grow.  It's a genuinely uncomfortable time but, I understand its arrival and necessity and I appreciate that I really am being cared for, genuinely cared for.

Got an early Christmas/Birthday present with my new Samsung Tablet.  I was gonna write which kind it is but, now its in the protective casing, and I can't remember how to figure it out.  My other tablet had become non-responsive.  This new one is lovely.

Oh, also selling a few Twiddle Muffs, which is also lovely.  Having a "sale" that for every one I sell before the end of the year, I will donate one to a local dementia unit.   I put down my crochet several weeks ago because it had become so painful.  Haven't picked it back up yet.  Emotional armor not strong enough for disappointment again so soon, not to make negative predictions, but you know, just in case it still hurt to hold the hooks.  Just in case, I'll be ready soon.  Baby steps.  Coloring instead now.  Nice but, not nearly as lovely as crochet for me.

Have pulled myself away from web searching about miscellaneous health issues.  This was/is good advice.  Spending very minimal time on social media, in general.  Trying to listen to God and hear His will for me.  And waiting for doctor appointments.  Who sings that song, "the waiiiiting is the hardest part"?  Truth.  Whatever is, is.  The end.

I'm gonna call the stable that's just about a half mile down the road from my neighborhood and ask them if I can come out one afternoon, and just hang.  I feel like if I could be in the company of a horse for an afternoon, all would be right with the world again.  OK, not all, that is really too much, but, a good bit would feel soothed in my soul. Better? More realistic.   A good, good bit of soothing.  
Thankful for them.  Have happy happy days.