I'm talking about small tasks of daily living here. Not what pre-fibro Marie would consider actual accomplishments. For example, getting a load of laundry through to the end so it is in the closet or folded in the drawer. Going out on the bus to a doc appointment and making it back home. Giving the dog and cat clean water and food.
Blessedly, I no longer hold the bar for such activities higher than I can reach. It is about an inch over. An accomplishment is just finishing to my ability at that time. It doesn't have to be pretty (we are not a magazine photoshoot), timely (not a newspaper), effecient, (not whatever needs effeciency), graceful, or even complete. Today is laundry day. Historically, I know that the amount of laundry my home makes can be done and finished in a day. I have done it before, so I know this to be true. Today, however, I will feel accomplished if I get some of it dried and out to the loveseat. I have no plans whatsoever to complete it. I don't even have plans to try folding anything. I don't have any kind of goal. I will just do what I can and be grateful for that accomplishment.
I will not feel sorry for myself.
On Wednesday, I will board the bus with my lunch, go to my doctors appointments, I have two that day, and my goal will just be to get home in one piece. Very low bar. I have no aspirations to get home feeling comfortable or without a headache. I don't even plan to be able to communicate very well to my psychologist. I will just do what I can do. The rest will be taken care of by God, if it is His will, or not. I will accept the limitations I find with peace. I will not be saddened by them or deterred in my accomplishing tasks. Making it safely home is my goal for Wednesday. I have handled crises in bad shape before, and it is not ideal but, somehow, I come to the other side. He carries me. Praise Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment