And just
like that, everything changes dramatically.
Again. All it took was organ
music. Hours later, I still cannot walk. Searing pain, all over. Fuzzy thinking. Freezing cold, everywhere. It’s been so long, the best part of a year
and a half, since pain like this has been with me. I was trying to untangle it on the way home
from church and explain the sensation to Tim.
I compared it to a bell being rung, and more importantly to the subsequent
sensation of ringing that lingers. That’s
what I feel in my bones. It feels like
my skeleton, all of it, is ringing, or buzzing, or something like that. He said the organ must have hit “Marie’s
resonance frequency”. Lol.
It makes some
sense in my head because, my connective tissues are looser than they should be,
therefore, my skeleton is not held together tightly. But instead, I am loosely constructed. So, I vibrate more. And the more I vibrate, the more my nervous
system is stimulated, and the more subsequent pain. Which is why I have brought my cane out and
why I will be using my wheelchair for the unforeseeable future. My sweet T brought my laptop to my bedroom
for me, so I could capture these thoughts.
I can’t even walk while holding it.
Which means no driving. Which
means no volunteering with babies. Which
means no handling unknown dogs at the shelter.
Which means setting no cat traps.
So, today, I’ve lost a lot.
But, it’s
all just a chapter. I don’t know how
long this one will be. But, another
change will come again. So, all is not
lost. Just some. And not forever. Just for a while. I might regain function tomorrow. Or not until June. Or not until 2022. But it is possible. Because with God, all things are
possible. And if I am anything in this
life, I am with God.
I have been,
and continue to be, so very, very blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment