Betrayal

So, I am not hurt anymore, but I was last night.  Truly teary-eyed hurt, and betrayed.  I mentioned this therapy in one previous blog post but, only in passing, I think.  For the last 4 months, I've been having electro-pain management therapy by a therapist, lets call her Henrietta.  It has come to our (mine and Tim's) awareness now that she is manipulating me.  A large bill was sent a few weeks ago, at which time I immediately cancelled the next appointment.  I texted that I wasn't comfortable spending that much on the therapy (I hadn't gotten any bill from March until the very end of June, so I didn't know how much it was costing each month.)  Now, let me stop here and mention that this therapy helps me.  It is hard to know how much since life and my condition is so fluid, but it definitely does help me, and without any side-effects.  And, Henrietta is the only therapist of her kind in my city.  There aren't any other choices for me to go see.  So, let me say that I mention that I usually look forward to it, not the bus ride there and back, but the therapy session, yes.

Well, it has become clear that she is trying to bill me twice for my treatment.  There should be no bill whatsoever, or maybe one for under $20ish, but certainly not several hundred dollars.  Her reply to my original text was to call me and tell me that she "thought what was happening was that the billing specialist had not applied any of my co-pays to my balance"  and that she would have them call me that afternoon.  Also, she said she "never wants me to cancel an appointment due to money".I said ok, and I rescheduled that week's appointment.  So, at the next appointment, I was in a crap cognitive state and she didn't mention anything about the bill.  Nor did I.  But, she was very, very nurturing.  She took more careful care of me than ever before.  She even asked me what else she could do for me before the session ended.  She's never been nearly that patronizing before.  Just sort of "kissed my a__".  Which feels like a good thing when you live in chronic pain, to have someone nurture you so much, but it was unusual.

More than 2 weeks went by and the office never called about the large balance.  I texted her asking about it, blaming Tim, saying that he didn't want me having any more treatments until we understood what we owed.  Her text reply was that my copay was $45, not $40, per Shannon, who must be her billing specialist.  I replied, "what about the over $400.00 balance?"  She said, "bring me the bill when you come on Tuesday."  This is no mistake.  This is not incompetence.  This is manipulation of me.  She is counting on me feeling too crappy to have the strength to confront her, which is true.  She is also counting on the fact that this treatment is the only one I have found that helps me, which is also true, which she knows because I told her, repeatedly.   She's been told now that my Tuesday appointment is cancelled.  I offered no reason or excuse.  I feel compelled to do that, because I think it's expected of me, but, I am now convinced by my spouse that it's unnecessary.

She provided therapy that helped.  I have tried many, many therapies that have not helped.  It is covered by my insurance.  It is in a part of town I can actually get myself to and from.   She, and here is where I'm hurt, pretended to care about me and my health.  She advised.  She instructed.  She even scolded to some degree.  But, I felt cared for.  I felt taken care of.  But, I'm really, an opportunity to double-bill.  Nothing more.  So, Henrietta, I am breaking up with you.  I don't have the physical or mental strength to confront her about the issue.  But my spouse does.  And he is taking up the reins.  And I am going to leave it in his hands.  I am going to think no more of it.  Let it go.  But, it is betrayal.  Just because I was paying her copay, it is not any less betrayal.

Grateful that I can even afford therapy like this.  Grateful that my pain isn't so blinding that I'm willing to let her continue to defraud me.  Praying it won't get to that point.

Have happy days, and watch out for yourselves.